Matty

These words have been running through my mind since I last saw you. My biggest regret is not saying them. When I heard you broke down it physically hurt me to think that you could have used my words as an anchor. But you drowned. You’ve shared so much of yourself that you had nothing left of you to hold on to. You fell prey to the image people created for you. They took advantage of the flaws you showed them. They ignored you when you told them that they didn’t actually want to be like you. But I listened. When you looked at me with those fascinating hazel eyes I wanted to grab your face in my hands and say thank you. Thank you for opening up yourself and the darkness that follows you to me. Thank you for sharing your beautiful complex thoughts and trying to love every person that has reached out to you. I wanted to thank you for all of that until I saw you crying and screaming to the crowd around you, trying to find an answer to who you are. So no, Matty, I don’t want to thank you for showing me, and the rest who would listen, the raw parts of your soul. I know you meant well but now your heart is not your own and your mind is chaos. Now you’re closing yourself off from me, from us. 

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