Here is an overheard speech assignment that I did for class that I find very interesting.
I’m not getting very many likes on this photo and I’m pretty sure it’s because of my wonky eye
If I wore those pants I’d look like a marshmallow stuffed into a straw
I never buy underwear for myself
I don’t like due dates
These aren’t even fresh fries, they’re like limp dick
Every time I quit hating something it disappears
When did I become the cynical friend that hates all of MY friends?
High school called and they want your petty jealous ass back
Having no life is going amazing
His ass is going to get her pregnant
Speaking of asses, his is on fleek
Please put “If I wanted to listen to an asshole I would’ve farted” on my tombstone then bury me like a pharoah
NO I DON’T WANT A RECEIPT
I commented heart eyes on his photo, now he knows he’s bae
Well fuck my life that was awkward
So when is Bruce making his transition?
That guy was flirting with you, he wanted some of your Hawaiian punch
If I were the hulk I would probably turn green ever hour of the day
Calm your titties
I just watched a dog drink it’s own pee…
Angels have come to earth and they give 10% discounts at Subway
I hope you have sweet dreams of boys, toys, and other joys