Without You

I hate that you’re happy without me, because I’m sure as hell empty without you.

Underneath My Bones

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The End of Me

I should have known that he would be the one to kill me. He had good looks, he had money, he had charm. His voice like honey. I followed him into a world where drugs, sex, and lies ruled us all. I felt safe in his arms, ironically. But no one lasts in that world. I began to see the skin melting off their faces, their skeletal arms and bony cheeks were the most prominent things about them. Their yellowed sharp teeth guarded black tongues. Their soulless eyes bore right through me. Everyone but him were disintegrating before my eyes. Maybe that’s why I stayed longer than what was safe. But once you cross the border into the world full of demons there is no escape. I tried to leave, but those strong arms that once gave me safety, pulled me back into the darkness where my screams could never be heard. He shouted that he loved me. He couldn’t understand why his world suddenly terrified me. I begged him to let me leave. But people like him don’t want to lose what they have taken. His hands around my neck, my breaths struggling to keep me alive. That’s when I saw him as one of them. Rotting corpses filled with nothing but darkness. I should have known that he would be the one to kill me. With his dark eyes, his strong arms, and his careful words. His voice like vinegar, his world full of death, and now me.

Us

I saw you through the smoke

Laughing at life’s cruel joke

Of keeping us apart

You son of a bitch

Who broke my heart

I sucked on my cigarette

Willing it to burn my lungs

Your laughter ringing in my ears

A sound no one should have to hear

You caught my eye

As I forced back vomit

At your dumbass grin

Which used to be my favorite thing

I raised my middle finger

Which you found funny

I gagged at the thought

Of you ever calling me honey

I walked out of the room

My heart a series of booms

I heard you call my name

But you were the one to blame

The cold night air

Saving me from your glare

You never fucking cared

I stepped out into the street

Separating you from me

The metal hit my legs

Sending me to my fate

I opened my eyes

To your stupid face

You were the last thing I saw

Before I was nothing at all

Your hand on my heart

Maybe I was the one at fault

Red Tinged Eyes

I saw your eyes

Everyday of my life

Their red tinged glare

Made me uncomfortably aware

Of the evil surrounding me

With no escape

The image of your face

Always keeping me awake

I prayed and I prayed

For God to take me away

But you were already inside of me

Whispering in my ear

Things no should ever hear

I walked and I walked

Past smiles and laughter

With the devil inside of me

Always whispering in my ear

Things no one should ever hear

Those red tinged eyes

Now suddenly mine

In Your Dreams…

In your dreams you hold me close

But in reality your dreams are ghosts

I loved you dearly

I loved you most

But I gave in to the overdose

You screamed and you cried

But that didn’t keep me alive

I saw your face before I closed my eyes

Falling into a world where we were alright

I didn’t mean for you to find me there

Trust me darling, I do care

About how my leaving you broke your heart

About how I let the medicine tear us apart

And now you’re angry

Now you’re sad

Oh darling, my love for you drove me mad

Self Destruction

Why do I smoke? I’ve seen all of the warnings. I’ve seen all of the pictures of what it does to a person’s lungs. I’ve promised my parents that I would never touch the stuff. Yet here I am, a cigarette hanging between my fingertips. And I enjoy it. My lungs are paying the price but that doesn’t seem to stop me. Maybe it’s more proof that humans desire what can easily destroy them. It’s as if we secretly enjoy pain. We’re all masochists and life is our sweet torture. 

Love & Pain

Love is supposed to hurt. You’re supposed to miss the person you love. You’re supposed to crave them until it’s all you feel reverberating through your bones. You’re supposed to love them so deeply that you feel as if you might break. But love is never supposed to be used to conflict physical and emotional pain on another person. It is not used to make a person belittle themselves. You should never have to make excuses for your loved one’s harsh words that cause you pain. Love is supposed to hurt. It is whether or not the pain is intentional that decides if it’s true love.

Short Story

This is a story I had to write going off of a sentence that someone had written with chalk in the courtyard of my school. So here is my contribution to it. It’s a subject I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It sickens me to see someone in an emotionally abusive relationship that can’t seem to leave their significant other, but don’t have any real reasons to stay. 

She had unleashed the power of lust, and also had loved him before that, anyhow – it just made their love harder to stop (not that they wanted that). Anyways, after the truth had been revealed…

After the truth had been revealed they began to grow apart. Every time she looked at him she would feel her heart break. Over and over again, until she was in tears on the bathroom floor. Every time he touched her she would want to scratch at the place his hands brushed against her skin until there was nothing left but bone. Every time she lied next to him at night she dreamt of standing up and walking out the door. What was making her stay? She tried to find answers to this question every time he shifted in his sleep. Was it because he had been the first to discover her body? Was it because he had once made her feel safe from her insecurities? Was it because she had promised to love him for the rest of her miserable life? Was it because she couldn’t stand the idea of him belonging to someone else? But he didn’t belong to her. She had discovered the sickening truth that her body wasn’t the only one he was discovering. Her insecurities weren’t the only ones being put out by him. She wasn’t the only one he was making promises to. He wasn’t hers anymore. He would make up some excuse to leave, and wouldn’t be back until the next morning. How long would it take until he didn’t come back? She dreaded and hoped for that day. Every time his lips met hers she imagined tasting someone else on them. She swallowed the vomit that would creep up her throat. She stayed. She stayed because something was stirring inside of her, and she couldn’t be left alone with it. She had left her home, everything she knew, just to be with him. If she left him she’d have nothing. No one. So she kept quiet when he would leave. She kept quiet when she heard him whispering on the phone, saying all the words he once said to her. This was the life she chose, and there was nothing she could do about it now.